[ It's morning and cold ]

It's morning and cold.

It's raining beyond the awning but I'm sweating

and the sweat just makes it colder.
I'm waiting on the car and I'm not thinking ahead,

or if I am, I'm convincing myself
it'll all work out.

There are enough times it doesn't,

but there are always new solutions,

old recycled solutions,

solutions cobbled from

half-thoughts and fever dreams,

different perspectives

on solutions that have failed.

As if you can shape the future through sheer force of will.

Turns out you can;

I've been doing it for years.

The trick is not to leave yourself
any other option.

So it gets stifling. You feel boxed in.

You'd like to harness all that energy,

let it command you to other things,
but that's a decision for tomorrow.

That's effort for another day,

and you're always pretty sure

you'll have another day.

You aren't them.

Four times in one year,

but you don't feel like one of the lucky ones.

You still have tomorrow.

You still haven't quite decided

how you feel about it yet.